It Takes a Village

We've all heard the saying "it take a village to raise a child." But when did we decide that the village no longer mattered as we grew older? Social support is a key influence in managing depression. The criteria of depression describes someone who is isolated and kept from society, literally and metaphorically. As we look at how society has changed and the development of depression has progressed we would see trends that show that the more "social" (think media and technology) we get, the more isolated we actually become. Time is spent behind cellphones, computers, social media, likes, and the whole gamete of "socializing."

As humans, we are relational beings, we seek connection with others. While the world has gotten "smaller," because we are able to connect so much faster with people miles and miles away, do you really feel that much more connected to relationships? There is something to be said for carving out time for a coffee meet up, a walk, lunch out, and being truly present with another person physically, emotionally, and mentally. Put away the technology and being one with another person has such amazing benefits for mental health and overall wellness.

Our ancestors got together to do laundry and cook. They spent time getting together at each other's houses having tea. They spent time at the local spot discussing the local news. And the rate of depression was probably a lot lower than it is today. Today, we spend time alone, or we think we are connecting with others via the internet, but how truly connected do you feel during those periods of time. The amount of time that is spent alone has greatly increased over the last decade, driving to work, sitting in cubicles or in offices; the time for social interaction again needs to be scheduled and added into the "busyness" of life. But it is worth it. Prior to all this technology there was the chance of running into someone you knew at a store and the ability to catch up with each other was a shift in whatever the focus may have been at that time. Now you can just about buy anything online so there is no need to go to the store. It can be delivered to your house. Then shared on social media. Essentially zero human contact. We can live life inside the walls of our homes, with limited interactions with the world outside of them. It has almost created this tunnel vision, where we only see where we are going and nothing around us. Making eye contact with another person becomes uncomfortable, saying hello to someone becomes abnormal. But it is these things that made us feel connected to something bigger than ourselves. Even in our moments of wanting to be alone, we don't have to feel lonely because we have social support.

Having something socially to look forward to has amazing benefits. Having a planned weekly get together, or a monthly dinner. While these things may not cure depression, they create community. It can be hard at first to establish these routines, but overtime they become natural and part of your life. This is one of the benefits of attending church weekly, as a church is a social gathering and a community of people coming together to worship and praise God.

As this social endeavor grows, you will find that the availability and readiness of support is there for you. Making yourself available to the support is just part of the process. While it may be difficult, there is a reward on the other side.

Scripture:

Psalm 34:4

Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together!

1 Thessalonians 5:11

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

Questions:

How do you currently experience social support?

How can you make God a presence in the social support that you experience?

Does having God present change the way this support is available and helpful?

How do you lift others up and encourage them?

Does the threefold cord include you, another person, and God? Is this what keeps it from breaking?

How might togetherness change the way you experience depression, isolation, and loneliness?