Don't talk about my pain

"And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet."

Matthew 24:6

"On the darkest days and my darkest hours I don’t want to hear you say “everything will be okay.” I don’t want to hear “you have so much to live for.” Or “I’m here for you.” I don’t need to hear how much you love me, or that you had no idea I was in this pain. The words “you’re strong” fall on my deaf ears. Stop telling me I’m beautiful. I have a great smile. Or even “I’m sorry you’re in pain.” Don’t say “if you need me I’ll be there.” Because. In my darkest moments, I won’t ask. I won’t say anything. I won’t show you that I’m hurting. I replay my pain over and over and over again in my head. The broken record becomes my world. What I need, is for someone to break up the noises in my mind, not by talking about them but by silencing them with new topics, new thoughts, new words. Take me out to lunch and talk to me about the latest fashion craze. Tell me about the crazy thing at work. Or the guy you saw and swooned over last week. Take me to get coffee and let’s talk about the roasting of the beans. Talk to me about anything. Anything at all. But don’t talk to me about my pain. I live it every day. If you’re telling me to call you if I need anything. Call me and take me somewhere you’d like to go. Call me up to chat about nothing, or everything in between. But don’t bring up my hurt, don’t bring up my thoughts, and don’t bring up how much I have. Because I know. But my mind isn’t allowing me to realize that right now. And in time, maybe, I’ll cry about it and tell you. But right now. Today, I just need you as my friend." -Anonymous

Asking for help is one of the hardest things to do. You may have learned to take on more responsibility for yourself and it sadly comes in the form of not feeling that you can seek out help from others when you need it most. It does not help that people also seem to believe that it is for them to "fix" other people. Sometimes the best thing for people who are going through depression is just being present, not talking about the elephant in the room. It will come up soon enough, but in the time that is best for the person hurting, not the person trying to help.

Scripture:

Matthew 24:6

Reflection:

Is depression a war?

Who is part of your army?

How does preparing for the war of depression, allow you to find peace in the struggles?

Prayer:

Lord, I know that it is hard to ask for help and that You are here for me when I need You. You never change, despite me always changing. There are times that I do not want to talk about my pains, but I feel alone and weak. Lord give me the strength to ask. Lord lead me to the path to reach out to those who will understand that my pain is not a choice. I turn to you Father as my hope and as my light. And I know that others struggle just as I do, Lord, be with them that they may find hope in You and Your will. May their struggles become less as they grow closer to You. And if You ask that I be a light in Your image, may I shine for those that need it most. Amen.